just love me through it.

so it's currently 12:46am on wednesday. daniel is fast asleep and im wide awake with a case of "i cant sleep....too much on my mind". ever since my "breakdown" a few weeks ago i've been trying to be an overall happier person. trying to be more positive, looking on the brighter side of things and not being so hard on myself. 


but, let me tell you sometimes it's harder than it looks. i hate when i get in my moods where i feel "depressed" and crappy. it's hard for me to put in words what i feel sometimes, not just here on the blog, but to daniel too. 


this last weekend, i mentioned i attend the RS broadcast with my mother-in-law, and it was so wonderful. president uchtdorf's talk really hit home. you can watch the whole talk here. {like for reals go listen to it, it will change your life! i swear}

As a child, when I would look at the little forget-me-nots, I sometimes felt a little like that flower—small and very insignificant. I wondered if I would be forgotten by my family or by my Heavenly Father.  

Years later, I can look back on that young boy with tenderness and compassion. And I do know now I was never forgotten.

And I know something else. As an Apostle of our Master, Jesus Christ, I proclaim with all the certainty and conviction of my heart and soul—neither are you!

You are not forgotten.

Sisters, wherever you are, whatever the circumstances may be, you are not forgotten. No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you. In fact, He loves you, with an infinite love.

that quote from his talk brought a sense of peace over me, i am not forgotten even though i may feel it. i can easily feel alone or forgotten on a daily basis. after hearing this, i was reminded i am not forgotten, i have a heavenly father who loves me and wants me to understand my worth. 

im not going to really grasp this, until i put forth more effort to really learn from this. i cant just expect it to come to me without any work right? {duh, eryka} i have been doing some serious thinking and i have come up with things i can do to help me better understand. i know i really want to make this change in my life, so i am going to try my hardest to stick to the things i have come up with. {they are kinda personal so im not gonna share} 

i feel so blessed to have made some awesome friends through the blogging world, and i just ask for your love and support. please dont judge me, for being so open with my issues. just love me through it, {because we all know we have issues weather we can admit then or not right?, yes i am} that is all i ask to anyone who is reading. just love me through it. kthanksss loves!

have a wonderful hump day friends. xoxo

lately...

hi. its me, eryka. you know the wifey of this blog. gosh, its been awhile since i had a regular blogging sched, but im pretty sure nobody even cared. our internet is back and working {thanks to the hubby}. we'll see if i get back with the regular blogging like before. i dont know...


you see, i am kinda of going through a funk. i know you probably dont care, but this blog is a journal for me so...you can stop reading now if you want. 


im blaming my CRAY CRAY emotions and hormones on the birth control im taking {ya, i went there. dont like it? get over it}. for the past few months, ive been moody one second and happy the next. laughing then in full blown tears the next. high on life and then sad and depressed the next. i am just a mess. i dont know for sure what is wrong, but i really think the birth control is the cause, or atleast one.


i know of a few bloggers who have blogged about depression issues before, and they have been so much help to a certain extent. i am not saying i have depression, just saying i have been feeling very "depressed" lately. it makes me cray cray, because i have so much in my life that is good, and makes so happy. i have an amazing husband, who is so loving and understanding during my break downs. i have a loving heavenly father who loves me no matter what, and i know with all my heart that is true. i have family who loves me and supports me in all i do. list could go on and on, but sometimes i feel so alone and just blah, i cant really explain it. 


i know you probably could care less, about my issues. but i just needed for me to write it out. so yea. that is what is going on with me {the wifey} these days. 


sorry this long, and totally depressing. i just really needed to get this all out there. dont get me wrong life these days, hasnt been all sad, and depressing. we have been doing some fun and awesome things. we are just enjoying the end of summer. this has been a heck of a summer. dont ya think?! cant believe its almost fall, cant wait my most favorite season ever. 


well, thats all for now its late. 




love, the wifey.
xoxoxxoxox.