what two years has taught us

on the 12th we will celebrate our 2 year wedding anniversary. 2 years?? where is the time going? 

during the 1st year of marriage everything was so new and uncharted. we really had no idea what marriage would be like, we knew it was going to amazing and hard. there were lots of dinner fails, tears, learning, laughs, bicker fests, love, memories and just happiness. the 1st year was easy at times and so hard at others but, i loved it all.

we then jumped into our 2nd year of marriage. during the 2nd year things were more comfortable. we knew each others quirks, and such. we then started to toss around the idea of growing our family sometime during this 2nd year.

that leads into the one huge thing i have learned during this 2nd year of marriage. patience in all things is a must. not just in the whole having a baby thing, but in all things. in a marriage you need to have little patience. trust me, that is something that was hard for me to understand, i am not a patient person. one example of patience in our marriage is;

as bad as i want to add a little one to our family, i know with patience, faith, and trust in our heavenly father the time will come for us to be blessed to be parents. that leads into one last thing, something else i have learned is to be grateful for the time dan and i have together as just us. i will always cherish these times and love that we have had this time to really focus on our marriage.

i love being married to my best friend!

happy love day

while looking through these photos i am flooded with memories i have shared with this guy. some make me laugh, some make cry with joy, and all of them make me smile. he is constantly reminding me why i feel in love with him, even if he doesnt' know he is doing it. i feel so lucky to have this guy as my husband. i love you babes!! 

wishing you all a happy valentine's day!

xoxo

an example of love

this photo above is of my dad's parents. i believe this was taken before they were married. almost 60 years ago {they will celebrate 60 years in december}. look how cute they are!

the story of them meeting goes a little like this {thanks aunt dianne for helping me!} grandma was selling tickets to a dance and grandpa was buying tickets to said dance. he then asked her to the dance, right on the spot after just meeting her. && that was it. so cute right? guess you could say he was inspired. these two have always been an example to me of how a marriage should be. 

they have had their share of trials in their almost 60 years of marriage. from, infertility, health issues, raising several children through the miracle of adoption and everyday marriage trails. they have even served 5 missions for our church together. even missing several of their grand-children's births. it's okay because they were serving the lord together and blessing our family from afar.

i have many memories of spending time with them when i was younger. my parents are divorced and have been since i was little. so, i spent many weekends being shuttled around. my grandparents were often the ones who picked me up and would take me to my dad. at the time i didn't really appreciate those times. thinking back on it, i loved them. i got to have many conconversations with both of them about life topics. i have fun memories of baking with grandma, and learning about the gospel from grandpa. 

as i got older they would teach me about marriage and how to have a good one. when dan and i got engaged i called them to tell them and they both started to cry. they kept telling me how proud of me they were and how excited they were i had found a young man to take me to the temple.

they have are and have always been such a great example to me and our family. i feel so blessed to have them in my life! 
 

in honor of valentine's day tomorrow, i just felt like i needed to share a little about these cute grandparents of mine. they are a great example of true love.

a little love before love day

{photography by ashley eliza}

this guy.

he loves me even im when dramatic

&& i love that we can be together forever. 

i love you, babes! 

xoxo

but, it's so worth it

sometimes i feel like those who aren't married yet think marriage is all roses and gumdrops. trust me, it is not. there times when i want to rip my hair out. mind you those times are few and only last about 30min. i have some friends who say they never fight and when they say this i roll my eyes and scoff. like for reals, you never fight. are you robots? 

i have been thinking about it and fighting or bickering is healthy to a certain extent. obviously if you are fighting everyday then you need to do something to fix it. im talking about the normal/every now and then disagreements. those are normal and totally healthy in my book. you aren't going to agree on everything. in our house our disagreements don't last very long. no more than 30min. i love that we can't stay mad for very long it's pretty awesome considering we are both so stubborn. 

with all this said in a marriage you obviously have to put forth work. it's an everyday thing. below are a few things i believe help strengthen your marriage. {mind you these are my words and thoughts. i am no expert...trust me!}

supporting your spouse//i believe in showing and telling your other half how much support them. they may know it to be true but, it's good to reassure them by really telling them. 

give more hugs//i believe in hugging my husband all the time. sometimes hugs say more than words.

say your sorry//i believe in saying sorry after a disagreement. 

pray together//i believe in praying together. it really can bring you closer together. we believe god should be the center of your marriage and praying together can really help that be a reality. i love hearing my husband pray for me, us and our loved ones. 

date nights//i believe in dating your spouse. we don't have children so it's easy for us to make time to go on a weekly date. im sure when we do have kids it will be a lot harder but, it's something i really love and look forward to every week. good thing we have family close to babysit when the time comes. our dates are never super fancy. we usually do dinner, or a movie. some of my favorite dates are the ones where we go to dinner then come home and watch a movie. {maybe ill do a post later on with date ideas!}

show your affection//i believe in showing affection. we have this silly thing we do all the time. when we are holding hands, sitting next to each other, riding in the car, or whatever. we will squeeze each others hands, leg or arm 3 times for i love you. i love when we are riding in the car and his hand is on my knee and he will out of no where squeeze it 3 times. it brings a smile to my face everytime. it's a little thing, but it is just a little thing we do to show our affection. 

make time for each other//i believe in making time for intimacy. life can get busy and hetic but, you need to take time out of your schedules to unplug from the technology, put away all distractions and be intimate. again, we don't have kids yet so we have more time for this. but, i believe when we do have kids it is something we will work hard to still make time for. this doesn't just mean make time for you know what...it could even be just talking with no distractions. 

say i love you//i believe in saying i love you often. 

love notes//i believe in leaving notes. 

there are just a few things i believe in helping strengthen your marriage. what are somethings you believe in helping strengthen your marriage? do share in a comment below. other posts from different bloggers about marriage here, and here.

i love being married to the love of my life. dan really is my best friend and i cannot even imagine without him. he knows how to take care of me when im sick, how to make me laugh all the time, how to comfort me when im sad, and how to love me for me. i love being married to him. it's the best....even when we disagree on things! :)

happy friday, loves. hopefully i dont feel sick anymore {had the flu yesterday} this weekend and we can do something fun. 

xoxo

love of my life

this weekend we heard a girl dan works with, had tragically lost her husband in a shooting accident. she is the same age as me and her husband was the same age as dan. i cannot even begin to imagine what she is feeling. it breaks my heart that she has to feel this pain at our age but, it makes me all the more grateful for eternal families. 

since hearing this, i have been thinking how truly grateful i am for dan and all he does for me. he is my rock. he always makes me feel beautiful, when i don't. he knows exactly what to do when i am feeling down. he loves me for me. he helps me be the best me. he is the best shoulder to cry on. he gives the best hugs. his kisses make me weak in the knees, every time. he is my best friend. he knows what candy or sweets can make my pms better. he really is the love of my life. 

i try my best to be all those things for him. {well, all but the bringing candy for the pms part. haha!!} life is short and i believe in always showing your love to your loves ones. so, do you show your spouse or loved ones how much they mean to you everyday?!

i love you daniel bruce. thank you for being my best friend. i am so grateful we can be together forever and ever!

xoxo

a lunch date

saturday after my little brothers football game, we headed out on a lunch date. dan knew i had been dying to see the fall leaves. i have only been talking about it for days. so, off to ruth's diner we went. do you live utah? have you been to ruth's? well you need to. its nestled in emigration canyon and is such a cute little diner. dan said "i get to kill two birds with one stone." but, hubby just know i need more than one fall colors drive!

dan got the chicken mac n cheese, which they are famous for and i got the pulled pork with onion rings. oh my heavens i have been thinking about it all weekend. so dang good. you should really get your bootys over there.

i just love when i get to go on a day date with my love. it's my favorite. it was the perfect fall day date! 

struggling

*edit* things are much better. this was written during a pretty low moment. its a new day and everything will work out. i believe with all my heart that we are given trials to make us stronger. i appreciate all your love and support. xoxo


guys, i feel so awkward asking this but, i need your help. i know we all have those hard times and we all go through different trials in our lives. today has turned into one of those times. 

i am having a hard time really understanding how this specific trial we are going through will work out. i guess you could say i am having a case of pretty low faith right now. i am trying so HARD to be the positive one but, its hard. i usually am good at it. today not so much. with these feelings comes hard feelings towards myself. i feel like this is all my fault. 

so if you could say a prayer for us here in the clark home. i would be so grateful. or send me something uplifting, i would appreciate it. 

i love you all!

xoxo

the first anniversary

Today is the day. Our ONE YEAR anniversary. Geez, I cannot even believe its been a freakin' year! The first year of marriage flew by, oh boy did it. All last week I thought about this first year of marriage and all the memories we've made and I thought about the day in which we are celebrating.

I remember our wedding day like it was yesterday. I remember all the emotions I felt. Even sitting here typing this I am overcome with tears of joy. 

The night before the our wedding Dan's sister, Dan and I were at my mom's house. {Steph was playing "chaperone" haha} He was getting his stuff and gonna sleep at his parents hotel that night. Anyways, I remember saying good night to him and being SO happy that, that was the last time we had to do that. 

That night before bed I remember talking to my mom about how it was finally here. There was hardly any sleeping that night, I was too excited to sleep. When my alarm went off at I believe 6am {it may have been earlier don't remember}. I shot outta bed and said aloud "I am getting married today!!!!!". It was a wonderful feeling. 

As my friend did my hair, I just sat in silence I was feeling so many things. It was a weird/happy/exciting feeling. Dan and I drove to Sacramento Temple together as our families followed behind. I can't tell you what we talked about the drive there because I don't remember. 

Once we were at the temple most of it was a blur up to the part when Dan and I sat in the celestial room all by our selves just taking in the spirit we felt that moment. We knew we were doing the right thing. We knew this was a special moment. A moment when we could feel close to our Heavenly Father. I loved that moment. It was my favorite of the whole day. 

We then were sealed in front of our family and friends for time and all eternity by my grandpa. What a special time that was. I will never ever forget that. 

The rest of the day went so fast. It was filled with family, friends, love, happiness, laughter, tears and pure joy. I cannot believe that it has been one year since that very day. This year has been amazing. I love being able to see Daniel every single day. I love sleeping next to him, saying our prayers together, spending our weekends, laughing with him, snuggles, cooking him dinners, and I love learning new things about him and me everyday. 

This has been the best year of my life. I look forward to spending an eternity as Husband and Wife. I love all the memories we have made in this first year as a little family of two. I will cherish these times forever! I am so excited for the day when we will become a family of three. I know that day will come when the time is right. I love that we and our future littles can be together forever because we got married in the Temple.

Happy Anniversary Babes. I love you oh so much! Thank you for being the best Husband I could've asked for. Love you! {MUAH}

Love, 

 Your Wifey

{all photos from valoryjeanphotography}

{guest post} bonnie from life of bon

Hey guys, it's Eryka. I am over on Bonnie's blog today. After you read her guest post go on over and check out my post on her blog! :)


Well Hello hello!  It's Bonnie here!  Now, I know you're probably slightly confused because you moseyed on over to this blog today expecting to hear a little word from Eryka, and suddenly someone else is writing up all over her blog  I know it's crazy, but just go with it, and it'll be worth it, I promise.   

I write over at Life of Bon and today Eryka is allowing me to post on her blog because... well... because she's awesome.  Just a little about me: I've been married for ten months, and therefore am in the process of learning that, much to my disappointment, everything does not revolve around just me.  During the day I teach high school English to ungrateful seventeen year olds who have somehow completely stolen my heart.  I'm an avid reader, a hopeless romantic, and a terrible driver.  I write mostly about failed attempts to decorate my house, awkward visits to gynecologists, and absurd things that come out of the mouths of the hoodlum students. 

Eryka and I met through the blogging world a couple of weeks ago, and let's just say it was love at first blog site. (Bad pun, I know)  Now, if you want something that will really blow your mind about me and Eryka, listen to this:  We decided we were each going to write a post about the joys of marriage, and AFTER said decision was made, we discovered that we got married on the exact same day!  Is your mind officially blown?  Because mine is.

This week I had an interesting experience that led me to do some long, deep thinking about this thing called marriage.  You see, every year I have an appointment with the ...*ahem*... lady doctor.  To make sure all my...*ahem*...lady parts are doing everything they are supposed to do.  This week was said...*ahem*... lady doctor appointment.  

I always get just a tad nervous before these appointments.  And by always I mean the two times in my life that I have ever been.  To calm my nerves in the waiting room, I looked for something to read.  Well, I'll tell you what, that place was hard up for some reading material so I resorted to the pamphlets on the wall.  My choices were "Menopause:  What you don't know you don't know," and "The infection question:  it's not always yeast."  This much I know for sure, whoever is writing the titles of their pamphlets needs to get paid less.  I opted for the menopause pamphlet.  You see, I always like to be prepared.  Sometimes things happens sooner than you'd think, people.

I didn't get far into my riveting read when they called me to the back, demanded to know my weight, and them told me to strip and put on a robe with the opening in the front.  They've got a lot of nerve at that place.

The lady doctor came in, and immediately began firing questions.  I figure she did it to take my mind off the exam and I'll tell you what, it worked.  I was so busy answering her relentless questions that I didn't have a second to think about what else was going on in the room.

"How was the wedding?"  "How's teaching?"  "Do you want to get pregnant?" "What does your husband do?" "Do the students mistake you for a student at your high school?" "Have you ever gone on an African safari?" I mean it.  This lady didn't let up.

Then she asked me, "So how is the marriage going?  Everything marital bliss?"  I considered briefly telling her that we had already divorced- just to see her squirm- but I decided instead to be a good girl.  "Yah, pretty much."

"Yep, that usually lasts about two years." She said with a complete straight face.  "Now, I'm going to give you this prescription for a year..." 

We finished up and I took my prescription and free birth control and menopause pamphlet and headed on home.

I got to thinking on my drive.  About the whole marital bliss thing lasting two years.  Here's what bothers me about it.  I have gotten that remark, or a similar version of it, probably 100 times since I tied the knot.  "Oh, that will soon wear off and before you know it you'll be two people who live together and tolerate each other's bad smells." or  "Oh, you're probably just so in love right now, aren't you?  It doesn't last forever you know,"  or "After a few years you won't even be touching each other anymore, trust me."

Its not that I think me and Hubs have a better marriage than everyone else.  It's just that... I think everybody should have a better marriage than that.  

While my marriage has been a blast and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world, it's no cake walk.  It's not like we've just been sitting on the couch kissing and eating ice cream.  We've had to struggle through things.  We don't always see eye to eye.  We're both strong willed people.  Sometimes we are selfish.  Sometimes we say things we don't know are hurtful.  Sometimes we just don't even really know how to be married.  But every month is easier.  Every month is more fun.  Because we understand each other more, we know how to treat the other person, we know how to talk to each other.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that it seems to me that each year of your marriage should be getting better, not worse.

Then I started thinking.  Maybe I'm just being naive and stupid.  Maybe the whole marital bliss really is just a passing phase.  Then I thought of the marriage besides my own that I know the best.  My parents' marriage.  Of course, as a child of the marriage, I don't know half of the struggles that went on, the disagreements, the trials, the hurt feelings.  What I do know from pure observation is that my dad told my mom she looked pretty at the dinner table, they said their prayers together at night, my mom organized my dad's desk for him, they danced in the kitchen, and they took week long vacations without the kids every year.  It sure doesn't seem like a marriage where the bliss ended after two years.  

I also know that the two years since my dad passed away have been the most difficult and trying times of my mom's life.  I know that she has experienced severe heartache, on a level that the rest of us can't understand.  I know that she misses him every day.  I have seen her shed countless tears because of his absence.  And I'll tell you this much- my mom's not crying because somebody she tolerated and picked up after left earlier than she thought.  She's crying because they were right smack in the middle of marital bliss.

I don't know diddly squat about marriage.  I'm a freaking amateur over here.  But I know this much.  Marital bliss isn't supposed to last for two years.  It's supposed to last forever.

And that's what I learned today on my trip to the lady doctor.

Thanks, Eryka, for being so gracious to host me on your blog.  And to the readers of said blog, I hope I have entertained you enough that you stumble over to lifeofbon.  Sometimes I even post weird pictures of my husband giving other men massages.  Don't ask. 

Bonnie, thank you so much for taking over my blog for the day. I loved  your post, you have such a way with words. You are one awesome, lady and I am pretty sure we are meant to be blog bff's. I mean we were married on the SAME DAY! I mean, how random is that. AMAZING! Thanks for swapping blogs today!!! :)

xoxo

~Eryka

all married and stuff.

today, we've been married two whole months. i know right, seems like yesterday! these have been the best two months ever. we love seeing each other every day. seriously, greatest ever. {the whole long distance engagement sucked}. here are a few things we have learned about each other since we've started this new chapter of our lives. 




what daniel has learned about eryka: {these are really his answers, my comments are in italics}


~she doesn't like to put her clothes away. {for reals, it sucks}


~she can make good food. {atleast i try}


~the shower curtain has to be closed all the way, and the toilet seat has to be down after im done. {am i alone in thinking these things are a must?!} 


~eryka doesn't always close the toothpaste cap. {haha}


~she is kind and caring {even though i knew that already} {glad, he knew already!}


~she's a good wife, the best i've ever had. {hahaha, good thing im the best he's ever had. and the only one he's ever had}

what eryka has learned about daniel: {dan's comments in italics, as you can see there are none. he said "no comment" for all of them. hahahaha, love that boy!}

~he takes really really long showers. 


~daniel is the best at making sure there is never a dull moment. 


~he is a total cover hog.


~he's a hard worker and a wonderful husband. 


~daniel is a loud snorer {is that a word?}. 


~he doesn't always close the shower curtain and it drives me nuts. 

...two months down.....an eternity to go! <3

sometimes...

...i feel like complete crap, and dont want to do anything. {dont even feel bad.}

...you just need to reorganize your pantry. 

...the dinner you made sucks and is a total fail, so your sweet hubby takes you out. {i love you dan}

...looking at your wedding pictures makes you miss that day. {cant wait to get the rest from val} 
...i wake up to daniel getting outta bed at two am. i ask what he is doing, he replies: gonna get in the shower. i say what time is it? he says: 2. then i sleeply giggle and we go back to sleep. {pretty sure he was sleep walking. idk!}

...you look at cute spring dresses and dream of owning them all. {hahaha!}

...you feel very grateful for your smart, caring, loving, understanding, and hot husband. i fall head over heels in love with that man everyday. {true story}

...new sharpies make you very giddy, and want to color for an hour. {ask steph. ha!}

...you are annoyed about the littlest thing. {like, facebook not letting me change my name to eryka ann clark.}

...you sit in church and feel like all the babies are looking at you. {haha!}
...the only way to make you feel better, is to sit and veg out. 

yes i bought the 24 back with bonus sliver sharpie. <3