sad for no reason.

the last two days i have been a weird funk. i was kinda mad at myself because i set all these new goals and i thought i was doing so good. until the other day, i just felt blah. honestly, it's no fun when i get in these moods. poor daniel, has to deal with cranky attitude. {sorry babes, i love you} i hate when i get like this. 


i know the only way for me to kick this feeling is, make the changes i need to. nobody but me can fix this. the only way for me to really be happy with myself the way i am, is to accept me for me and work on being the best me i can be. 


one thing i really want to work on this year is my self worth. i found this video of a talk from dieter f. uchtdorf. it pretty much was what i need to hear at this time in my life. 

i am promising myself right now, to REALLY work on becoming the best me i can be. i am not going to let the little things get me down. i want this so bad, i want to finally be happy with myself the way i am. i know i can do this. i also understand it wont be easy at all, but i need to stick to it and work hard! i can do this! I CAN DO THIS! I CAN DO THIS! 


i know you probably feel like i write alot of these posts about my struggle with being happy with me, but this is basically my journal since i am so bad at keeping a handwritten one. this is my way of getting everything out in words. something about writing it all out, that really can help a girl work through her issues. ya know?! 


thank you for listening//reading my thoughts. i have been thinking a lot about this blog, and i really want this to be REAL representation of me and my life. so, yeah this is the real me. im far from being perfect! 


{if you are a new reader, please leave a comment with your email or blog link. i love making new blog friends. so dont be shy!}

california sick.

 {favorite place in the world, san francisco..in the distance}

 {green valley/fairfield}

{pismo beach. second favorite place in the world.}

i miss california, the momma-daughter pedicure dates, my california friends, marys pizza shack, san francisco, the backroads of fairfield, larry's produce stand, and my baby kitty chloe. maybe just a little "california sick" right now. 

deep thoughts, a dream and star wars.

so i havent written a "deep" post in awhile, and i thought i would write somethings i've been thinking about out. {for me personally}.


lately ive been thinking about "being happy". you can have alot of things in your life that can make you happy but as long as you arent happy with yourself the other things really dont do much in making you happy. at least thats how i feel. 


last night i had this dream, i was back in high school. {yuck i know}. well in this dream i was reminded of what it is like to be in high school. kids, are mean. yes straight up mean. in this dream i was bullied. {it was horrible} i was never really bullied in real life school, but saw it many times. this dream got me thinking of what i struggled with the most: i think the biggest struggle i faced in high school was being ok with my personal looks. i always felt like i was the "ugly duckling". this is something i probably will always struggle with. worrying about not being skinny enough, or my nose is too big, or my love food {dang you food for always tasting so good!} you know, stupid body issues. maybe someday i will be 100% happy with my body. {sigh} 


why is it that girls always struggle with body issues. i know several girls personal friends, and blog friends who struggle with this same issue. i know people might be reading this and thinking "is this girl crazy? why would she feel like that" or you might be thinking "i hear ya girl". which ever the case. i know this was a pretty deep post, but i think of this a my personal journal so there. 


....on a happier note today is quote un quote star wars day. "may the fourth be with you". in honor of that the hubby and i are gonna start the star wars movies tonight. growing up my whole family has loved star wars we all have literally grown up on it. call us a nerd family if you must, we already now we are. so hope you all enjoy your star wars day!